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Here’s What Happened When I Committed to No Longer Playing Small

Hi, dear souls! How are you?

I hope you have been able to ease back into the swing of your usual routine with kindness toward yourself. Are you allowing yourself a gentle transition? Or are you wrenching yourself back to reality, facing your work with a “grind” mentality?

If the latter sounds more like you, pause right now and close your eyes. Take the deepest breath you’ve taken all day (maybe all year?) and quietly say to yourself, “be here now.” Aaahhhh. Much better.

So far in 2020, I’ve made my intention my #1 priority, and the results have rocked my world so hard that I felt the need to drop all of my other blog plans and tell you about this ASAP.

If you submitted a request for a blog topic via Instagram, your idea is now part of a master list of blog posts that will be released in 2020. All of that and MORE (hint hint: I purchased a podcasting microphone) is in the works and I can’t wait to share it with you.

But for now, I’m feeling called to share with you the mind-blowing results of committing deeply to my 2020 intention. I share this to give you an example of how FAST the Universe responds when we commit to shifting our thoughts and energetic patterns.

My energetic pattern for nearly all my life has been to shrink and play small. I have given my power away time and time again because of the negative thought-loop that has been playing variations on a theme in my mind since I was conscious: “I am not enough.”

When faced with adversity, I’d shrink. When faced with someone who had more external power than me, I’d shrink. When faced with a situation that didn’t serve my highest good, I’d stay silent. When asked to do something I didn’t want to do, I’d say yes.

I pushed my intuition farther and farther away until I became almost incapable of hearing it. I’d squash it almost before it even had a chance to make its way into my conscious awareness.

I took the turn of the decade and the absolutely desperate-for-positive-change times we live in as my cue to interrupt this thought-loop once and for all.

Given the bleak state of the world right now, there simply isn’t time to keep light hidden away. It’s a massive disservice. The world needs light immediately. It needs light in any capacity we can give it.

We all have the potential to give light based on our unique gifts, but many of us hold it back because we’re too damn scared of what people will think.

But this is so important, friends. It’s WAY past time to shine.

I am so done playing small. I am so done denying the value of my time to make others comfortable. I am so done allowing the voice of ego to hinder me from doing my best work. I’m done. I’m taking my power back.

My intention for 2020 is simple: To step back into my power.

In 2020 I will speak loudly and proudly. In 2020 I will act on intuition rather than ego. In 2020 I will say “no” more often. In 2020 I will ask for what I need with kind assertiveness.

It’s amazing how quickly the Universe responds when we commit our energy to an intention.

My experiences thus far in 2020 make me want to jump up and down reminding you of this fundamental truth: What we focus on grows.

So far this year, I have sent tons of loving awareness to my intention. Each morning, I ask my angels and spirit guides to help me commit to walking in my power. I’ve begun to redirect my thoughts when I notice them slipping back into old patterns of smallness. I’ve reframed situations as opportunities to exercise my long-dormant power. I’ve remained open to the difficult shifts that are required to make true and lasting change.

Since committing to stepping back into my power, a few exciting things have happened.

For starters, I did the best teaching of my life this past week.

For the first time in my work as a voice teacher, I gave a lesson from the seat of my intuition. I was entirely in flow. I did not give my ego time to interrupt my instincts. I simply opened and allowed my intuition and higher wisdom to flow through me.

It felt sort of like floating in space. Complete presence can be shockingly vulnerable. When higher wisdom is in the driver's seat, we don't always have control over what we will say or do. And giving up control is scary as hell.

I had to let go of my tight grip on the uber-nice teacher persona, from which I often derive a false sense of self-worth. I never slipped into unkindness, but I delivered my points with a firmness and deliberateness that my ego would have been deeply uncomfortable with.

Admittedly, speaking what I knew to be true loudly and proudly was unfamiliar.

I felt my ego trying to wiggle its way into the edges of my consciousness as I taught with my newfound assertiveness. Will my student still like me? Am I making her feel bad? Is this going to cause her to shut down?

But I made the conscious choice not to entertain my ego. I kept my intuition in the driver's seat. I knew in my bones that what I was asking of my student was what she needed to hear in order to break through to the next level. I couldn’t let her continue giving less than I knew she was capable of.

The result?

She did her best singing to date. She was precise, confident, and delivered every detail I asked for. This weekend, she got the role she auditioned for at a competitive local theater company.

Wow. The ego makes us think it’s helping us by micromanaging every detail, but really it’s hindering us from living in the flow of our instincts. Living from a place of intuitive flow reminds us that we already know what to say.

We already have all of the answers. We need only get out of our own way.

As a second result of my commitment to stepping into my power, a situation has arisen that is calling me to assert the value of my work and time.

I have been very comfortable and externally successful in my work life since graduating with my master’s degree. I haven't encountered any significant issues.

This is the first time a situation has called me to rise up out of my smallness and speak up for the worth of my work. And the timing is certainly Divine.

Manifestation coach Lacy Phillips teaches that when internal transformation is taking place, the Universe will send a series of tests that force us to prove our commitment to that transformation. “Passing” these tests is key in the process of manifesting the life of our dreams.

I believe that the Universe is presenting me with a test, and that the way I respond to this situation is pivotal to my stepping fully into my power. In order to level up, I need to prove my commitment to my intention. What an amazing opportunity.

It’s a chance to use my voice. It’s a chance to kindly assert the worth of my work. It’s a chance to be my own advocate instead of waiting for someone else to swoop in and save me. With grace and so much love in my heart for the work that I do, I will use this opportunity to elevate.

Lastly, since committing to my intention at the start of the year, my angels and guides have been sending me signs like crazy. Like, to the point of total hilarity. They are cracking me up daily with the clever ways they slip 444s and 723s into my life.

These two numbers are my personal signs that my angels are guiding and encouraging me on my path. It's their nod of approval. They’re saying to me, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”

Let me give you an example.

Recently I was in the parking lot of my apartment complex loading a few things into my car. A man casually walked past me. Catching a glimpse of his shirt, I did a double take and thought, “There is NO way.”

He was wearing a black tee with a gigantic 4:44 blazoned across the chest. You can’t make this stuff up.

Another sign came to me in the form of a test.

Transitions have been difficult for me since I was a child, so naturally, at the end of my holiday vacation, I was dreading the transition back to Miami from my mom’s tranquil island home. I had gotten sick right after New Year’s and my body was not yet up to being jarred back into the swing of things.

I had a few lessons scheduled that I was supposed to get back to Miami for, but my body and mind were screaming for another day’s rest. I asked my angels for guidance. “Please send me a sign to help me know what to do.”

I walked out of my bedroom and snuggled up on the couch across from my mother who was journaling in her pajamas. As soon as I laid eyes on the words written on her shirt, I knew. I had that “zing” feeling you get when a moment is divinely orchestrated. Time stood still for a split second and I dwelled perfectly in the present. This was my sign.

“Follow your heart.”

But wait. That's not the sign I wanted! I wanted an answer! And you’re telling me I have to figure it out on my own??

For an indecisive, recovering people-pleaser like me, this was NOT an easy sign to receive. I knew I wanted desperately to stay and rest another day, but the guilt surrounding cancelling my day of work was crushing. What will my students’ parents think? Will they fire me? Will we be able to reschedule or will I lose the money?

I was searching for Divine permission to cancel my workday. But the Divine had a different message for me. My angels were letting me know that the only permission I needed was my own.

My bodily intuition had made its decision. My mind was simply afraid to act on it.

The angels were teaching me that the spiritual elevation I am seeking does not come from staying comfortable and silencing my intuition. It comes from voicing my intuition's wisdom even when it's scary.

And so I did. I cancelled my work day. The relief I felt sending those texts was palpable. A weight lifted off me. I cried with a combination of lightness and pride that I had spoken my truth and honored my body's needs.

I spent the rest of the morning journaling on the beach. Then I spent the afternoon redesigning my website. Mom and I spent the evening on the dock, watching the sunset while enjoying wine and cheese. Just what the doctor ordered.

I have been living my intention for fourteen days, and I have already been presented with multiple significant opportunities to step into my power. What I put out into the Universe has been returned to me tenfold, and I have a feeling that this is just the beginning.

I tell you all of this to remind you that you can do it, too. Sometimes the biggest challenge is the commitment, because it forces us to acknowledge our magnificent worth.

But do not doubt that the energy you emit will be matched. When you commit to your worth, others will respond accordingly. When you assert your value lovingly, it becomes abundantly clear to others that you are worthy of respect and kindness.

Let's commit together, dear souls. The world needs our light.

All we need to do is give ourselves permission to shine.

3 Kommentare

Gantt Mann Kushner
Gantt Mann Kushner
17. Jan. 2020

your mom has always been one of my divine inspirations in life - now you too! thanks.

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15. Jan. 2020

I'm with Sarah - this really resonated with me and I'm inspired by how radiant and dedicated you sound. I too have been getting a lot of signs and validation that I'm on the right path, but the self worth component is key. I need to step up in that department. Thanks for being one of my life's greatest teachers. xo

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Unknown member
14. Jan. 2020

Wow Maya! This post resonates with me so strongly. I've been experiencing similar things as I've also committed to stepping into my true power this year. I can really see a difference in the way you are writing even just 14 days in to committing to this shift. I see a strong, beautiful soul who is unafraid to let her light shine! Sending so much love your way, can't wait to see what's next. ❤

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